It’s been said that aging and retiring are the “Golden Years.” You should embrace them, be free, travel, and enjoy the grandkids. If you’re lucky at my age you’re retired – living the dream. Retiring because you want to is so much different that retiring when you HAVE to. Oh, I still enjoy that I get to sleep as long as I want but I miss not renewing my nursing license since 1972.
I’ve been so blessed to have a good man who worked so hard that I didn’t need to work fulltime or part time – most of the time he asked me not to work. “Stay home and enjoy yourself, make your jewelry, go shopping, have lunch with friends. ” WOW, that sure sounded good a few years ago and I did them all! Now that my “Golden Years” have arrived I find doing all of the above a little more difficult. I’m so happy that I had those few years to be free and do what I wanted AND REMEMBER what I did! I am still able to do all of the good things except my jewelry (which sits in 2 large red tubs in the garage) but it’s getting a little harder every week.
I want to have all the wonderful things a normal (whatever normal is) 66 year old wants but I am angry, depressed, feeling isolated and there is the fear – ever present. The fear that keeps me awake at night. The fear not only what tomorrow will bring but the fear of this disease robbing me of TOMORROW. Will I be worse? Will I forget more? Will I get upset and make Tom suffer?
EASE meetings are wonderful but so much material is over whelming. I read some and the other information is for later in the disease so I put it away. Writing this BLOG helps immensely – like keeping a journal, which everyone knows is good for all people.
I’ve still not gotten to the part of sharing my feelings with anyone but Tom. Close family is small and all are busy with their own lives and as I’ve said before I have no friends close near by and living in a 55+ community probably doesn’t make me unique!! HA!!
For now Tom and I try to stay busy, enjoying the summer, planning mini vacations, dealing with the anger and the fear. Tom knows that the ocean is very healing & cathartic for me so therefore we have beach trips planned for a week in June, August, September and a MONTH in Nov. What a guy – this makes me so happy!
My grandkids make me shine with joy. As they get older I try to love on them as much as possible because we all know what the teen years bring. They bring me joy and I hope to never forget who they are and hope they will love me if I do.
As I’ve said before reading this may not help you now and I hope you never experience Alzheimer’s but one never knows. Please feel free to share this with your friends and family. Maybe my journey will help someone who hasn’t told you that they have Early Stage Alzheimer’s. They could be just like me and you’d never know.
Enjoy this beautiful June.