I thought losing my parents was the worse pain a person could suffer until Alzheimer’s – I thought the mental pain was (and is) horrific – but I had no physical pain until my accident. A person should not have to experience the pain I have now in this age and time of great medicine. The trauma surgeon’s eyes were clear and full of truth when he told me that it’s as bad as it can get. Having a great trauma Orthopedic surgeon, all his knowledge and fancy equipment does nothing for the pain. On a scale of 1 – 6 he rated me a 6+. I’ve always been a high achiever but with a leg full of plates and screws and about 50 external staples this is going to test my faith.
What I thought I could not handle down the road is nothing like this – from now on I will embrace the Alzheimer’s pain and cherish all the wonderful people I meet on this journey, as I know how life can change in a heartbeat – for me a step off.
As you can tell, the past three weeks have brought unbearable pain to me and Tom. My pain is seen in Tom’s face. This journey has brought him down to the realization that this might be a dress rehearsal. It is not pretty. “Are you ready” – I think as I look into Tom’s red rimmed eyes. Our wedding song – Jefferson Starship – Nothing’s gonna stop us now playing in my head ……………………………and the pain subsides.
I’m so glad I found you
I’m not gonna lose you
Whatever it takes I will stay here with you
Take it to the good times
See it through the bad times
Whatever it takes is what I’m gonna do
Pain, physical and mental is not to be taken lightly – it may a part of our everyday life and drag us down but it is there and we learn to cope. A couple of weeks ago I was at church, so happy, full of music, so glad to be in the present. Now with two surgeries behind me I face at least 3 months of physical therapy with “full” recovery in 9 to 12 months. That is a lot of hard work but I’m up for the challenge…………..I have faith and I have Tom.
Though things have changed I hope to fully recover, get back to church & my life. Take a little of the worry out of Tom’s face. Go out to dinner, take a walk, play with the grandkids, cook, clean the house – yes, clean the house!
Anesthesia is a necessary evil and while it serves a purpose it can interfere with your cognitive skills therefore those of us with Alzheimer’s need to be careful and inform all of our Drs. of our Alzheimer’s so the anesthesia and pain medication can be adjusted. I stopped the pain medication after the first surgery as soon as I could and I still suffer what I call “Brain Fog” and I am into round two now. I am hoping I can take less pain medication and get my brain moving along.
I want to thank you to my church, friends, neighbors and family who have helped us these past three weeks. Rodney, you are so awesome – I love you.
Since I just got home from the hospital yesterday I think I will rest, pray and be thankful for all I have.